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I Will Love you Always I will love you always Through the muddied messes of Fall and Spring. When the winter ice is too thick to chip through, I will wait, with love, Until the Spring sun-rays melt away the obstacles. So we shall live in eternal Summer, Beach side. I will love you still, then. |
Brother Jacob, Alexa, Cousin Joshua, Brother Jeremy, Cousin Taylor
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What do I want?
What do I want?
What is it that my soul desires?
What is it that I can do to make myself feel complete
Like I'm living a real life?
Fame. Riches. Security. Love.
I want it all!
What do I want?
What is it that my soul desires?
What is it that I can do to make myself feel complete
Like I'm living a real life?
Fame. Riches. Security. Love.
I want it all!
Lexi and her "Momma", Susan
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If I Could Change Myself
If I could change myself if I would. I'd walk with my people if I could find them And say that I'm sorry to you. |
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The False Light of Hope I awaken in the false light of hope No more do i wake with faith No more can i breathe in the health of a new day For all my days have become one. All my breaths are panged by the Rot of my insides. I cannot enjoy the crisp autumn air. Something holds me - restrains me Like i am a child reaching for Something i have been forbidden Have been forbidden for the longest time. I know better than to try to attain What should be rightfully granted to all children. Children. Children. Oh -what beautiful creatures. How innocent- How full of life. How divine. How wondrous to be a child again. To enjoy the fallen leaves, their color. Their smell. Beautiful mud-cool and soft. A puddle- so mysterious. How i love being with these children. They are what makes me feel alive. Their pure simplicity- makes my eyes burn of jealousy and nostalgia. Yet their sharp brains and yearning to learn astounds and intrigues me. How beautiful. 
Lexi and her little brother, Jacob.
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Lexi: self portrait
Self Impovement
The steps to self improvement have small beginnings. Each step builds the ladder out of the pit of despair to new hope. The Truth The obsession will not cease. I make myself sick with craving. I can smell the heroin. I give myself goosebumps; my body makes my stomach cramp and my head feels like it’s going to explode. How can I be so completely obsessed with something so innately evil, destructive, costly, and all powerful? |
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Sunday Slumber Sunday. A long soporific slumber on the sofa. Long enough for the saliva from his lip to already have accumulated into a fluid puddle below his face. His snore, exasperating. But today it doesn’t vex. Not on Sunday. Watch his chest. His breathing like the faint respiratory of a child- deep in dreamland. Innocent. Ingenious. Unsoiled. Inhale the putrid air. Too impure for his angelic being. |
Brother Jacob, Alexa, Brother Jeremy
Either Me or You
It's either me or you. And when I'm not begging and pleading- I'm pushing and abusing. I've got a pack full of hungry wolves waiting for me to bring them their meat- Or I'm lost in the Sahara trying to catch up to my runaway horse. There is no other way. |
The Sprinkles of heaven - By Lexi
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Old Dreams
The old dreams were good dreams. They didn't work out But I'm glad I had them. |
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Journal Entry
17 years old “Yeah, my mom is always telling me that she remembers me still as a little girl and sometimes I still look exactly like I did when I was younger. I’m really happy that we’re getting close- closer than ever before. I think I love her now more than I ever have. It’s just sad to me that I ruined most of my teenage life because I wanted independence too soon. Now I’m about to become a legal adult and I would do anything to be 14 again. But oh well- you can only move forward!” -Lexi- 
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Lexi
The Beach
A gust of fresh air with a hint of salt Barnicles and seaweed plaster the rocks Crabs and starfish in their own little pools Darkness brings yet another beautiful sight Evening comes, so does the tide For little animals to return to the deep blue. |
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Soapy Subs
Bubbles Sticky, weightless floating, popping, soaring wand, bowl, subs, soap teasing shining, sticking cute, fun subs 
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