Our Memories

Our Lexi Memories

On September 16th, a Sunday at 10:30 am Chris, Lexi's father screamed, "call 911. call 911". I jumped up and ran to the living room to find Chris stumbling down the stairs with the phone in his hand. I followed him down and saw Lexi laying on the floor in her room. She was unconcious. Chris and I yelled to her, shook her over again but she did nothing. She looked like she was sleeping. I felt that she was warm. "thank God" I thought. I immediately reached down to feel her wrist for her pulse. There was non. Her heart was not beating. I yelled, "her heart isn't beating" and almost immediately, before I had a chance to think what to do, I immediately saw Chris' hand reach down onto Lexis chest and begin to push. He began counting out loud, "one and two and one and two and one and two". I continued holding her wrist as I screamed, "Please God, don't take her. Please, please don't take her." I then sensed that we were not alone and looked over to the doorway and saw Jacob, Lexi's baby brother who was 16 at the time. He had a look of terror in his eyes as he watched what was taking place in front of him. Tears were pouring out of his eyes and down his cheeks. We made eye contact as we cried harder.
After what felt like hours, I could hear the sirens, then the feet clanging down the stairs. I suddenly felt Lexi's pulse while still holding her wrist. I cried, "She has a pulse, Chris. She has a pulse". The EMT's rushed in and hurried us out of their way. The three of them immediately took over and started their work to save our daughter. In just minutes, Alexa was whisked past us on a long board and quickly placed into the back of the ambulance. The headed for Midcoast Hospital. The three of us quickly gathered into the car and drove the ten minutes to the hospital where we were told when we arrived that Lexi was alive. She had been placed on full life support. Nurses and technicians were preparing Alexa for the half hour ride to Maine Medical Center. If there was any chance Lexi would survive, she needed to brought to the technically advanced hospital immediately.
Our 25 year old son, Jeremy had arrived while the physicians were in the middle of explaining to us how dire Lexi's life situation was. He had a look of shock and desperation on his face. I think we were all in shock. The tragedy we all prayed would never occur was staring us in the face. Our biggest fear was becoming reality.
The physician told us we would not be able to see Alexa until she arrived at Maine Medical Center. We left to pack our bags for the hospital in Portland. On our drive home from Midcoast Hospital we were stopped at a red light. The car in front of us had a license plate that read: "GDLUVSU". Jacob and I looked at each other. I said, "This must be a sign that Lexi will be ok". Jacob agreed.
We arrived at Maine Medical and were brought to Alexa's bedside. She was unconcious. Machines were breathing for her through the large tube that had been placed into her mouth and down into her throat. There were wires, monitors, IV's, machines keeping Lexi alive.
We learned that her prognosis was unknown. We believe her brain had been without oxygen for approximately 45 minutes. She had been texting with her boyfriend, Alex up until 9:45 am and then she did not answer his texts to her. The doctor's explained a procedure whereby Alexa's body temperature would be gradually lowered for two days and then slowly warmed for another two days. We would then know if she was going to be ok or not.
We began to call members of our family to tell them what had happened with Lexi.
It was 10pm and Chris, Jeremy, and Jacob were getting ready to leave for the night. I was going to stay with Lexi. When I discussed this with the intensive care nurses taking care of our daughter, they explained that I would only be allowed to stay one night with her during her stay at the hospital. They encouraged me to leave with Chris and the boys saying that Lexi wouldn't be waking up until at least the next day. Reluctantly, I left to go home with Chris and the boys.
The next morning, while we were packing our things to head down to Maine Medical Center, we received a phone call from one of the nurses caring for Alexa. The doctor wanted to see us as soon as possible; when did we think we could get there?
We arrived at the hospital on Monday morning and first went to see Lexi. Chris and I kissed her and told her we loved her and that she was going to make it. She could pull through. She just had to fight.
Members of our family had begun to arrive when we were summonsed to the "family room" because Lexi's physician needed to speak with us. There were now ten of us crammed into the tiny "family room". We waited until the door opened and a physician entered the room pushing a table on wheels that held a computer. He turned on the computer screen that showed the cat scan of Lexi's brain. He pointed out the white areas covering most of her brain and explained that in those areas there was no activity at all. The only part of her brain still functioning was the area that controlled her heartbeat. We were told that if Lexi were to live, she would never be able to see or talk or eat. She would never move her arms or legs again. I remember asking, almost begging, "are you sure?" and "what if....." The doctor told us that he has seen many catscans and he was certain of the prognosis he gave to us. Again I needed explanation. I did not understand. Finally, Lexi's doctor explained that he had studied over 700 cat scans and that he had never seen a cat scan worse than Lexi's. There was no hope for our Lexi. The doctor exited the family room and the ten of us looked around at each other and sobbed even harder. We were all devastated.
There was a knock at the door. The Director of New England Donor Services entered the room and introduced himself. He asked Chris and I if we would speak to him alone. We followed him out to the hallway where he told us how sorry he was for our loss. He then asked if we thought Lexi might want to give the gift of life by donating her organs to someone who was in desperate need. Although we didn't discuss this with Alexa at any point in her life, we believed that she would want to help someone live. We didn't hesitate with our reply, "yes, of course she would".
Chris and I returned to the family room. We shared our discussion with the organ donor representative. A short time later, QiuQiu, my sister in law and Alexa's aunt shared something remarkable with me. A discussion initiated by Alexa with QiuQiu and my brother, Josh.
This is her recollection of that conversation they had with Lexi just one month earlier:

_____________________________________________
"This summer in the lake house our family rents every year for
a family get- away. Lexi, josh and I had stayed up after everyone
went to sleep. The three of us started debating some current
events. One of the topics we had come across that I
remember clearly was organ donation:
All of a sudden Lexi interrupted us while we were
talking. She said 'Wait, are you guys registered as an
organ donor?' She looked at me then looked at Josh, and
you know she was not going to take 'no' for an answer.
'It’s really important to do that', she said. I said 'Yes, of course
we are. You can check my license.' She smiled at me and
said 'I believe you!'. Then she started explaining why she thought
being a donor was so important. 'I mean there are so many people
staying on the long waiting list forever hopeless. If I have the chance
to save them I would totally do that. There is no reason not to!
You know that, right?!'
_____________________________________________
I don’t really remember all the things we talked about that night,
but what she said above was printed in my mind.
She was such a kind, loving and compassionate person."

We met with the director of New England Donor Services and he explained the process of finding the sickest people on the transplant list who would be a match for Lexi's "gifts". As he spoke to Chris and I, he thanked us and thanked Lexi. He used the term "gifts" which was comforting. We had no idea how long the process would take to find recipients for Lexi's "gifts". During this time searching, Lexi was kept alive with the machines and she was pumped with medications to keep her organs from failing. Between the 14 of us who loved Lexi so much, we took turns going to her room and talking to her. We set gathered in the larger family each morning and then everyone left late in the evening. I insisted on staying with Lexi. I had no intentions of leaving her alone in that hospital bed, ever. The nurses respected my wishes. Each night for the next three nights, our family would go home and I stay and have my alone time with Lexi. To be given those three precious nights with Lexi, I am forever grateful.
I took advantage of our time together and I loved on her and loved on her. I slept for four hours on our second night together. But the rest of the time I was with my girl.
I talked to her throughout the nights. I kissed her on her hands, her face, her nose., I rubbed her feet and her legs and her arms and hands. I stroked her face with my fingers and traced her nose and lips and eyebrows and chin. I chuckled when I told her she had her daddy's chin. I counted her freckles and studied her fingers and toes desperate to etch them into my mind. I was so worried I would forget. She had perfectly manicured fingers and toes. They looked as though she had been to a nail salon. I knew she painted her own nails. I remembered that her hands and feet had looked just the same as they did when she was a baby. I washed Lexi's face and put lotion on it and chapstick on her lips. I dabbed her favorite perfume behind her ears and on her wrists. I massaged cream into her butter-soft skin. And I nuzzled into her neck as I cried for her and I cried for me and I cried for Chris and Jeremy and Jacob. I cried for our family.
I helped the nurses bathe Alexa and wash her hair. And I watched as one of our favorite nurses put a new beautiful braid across Lexi's forehead each night after her bath. I shared stories about Lexi and we had pictures of her on the bulletin board in her room for everyone to see. There was a note written by one of the nurses on the white board: "Call me Lexi". I told funny and touching stories about her. They voiced their appreciation in learning about the beautiful girl they were caring for.
In the mornings our family came to visit again. We set up in the large "family room" and spent the days taking turns visiting with Lexi. Only two were permitted in her room at a time.
On Tuesday morning we were told of a woman living on the east coast who was in desperate need of Lexi's lungs and another very sick woman, also on the east coast that needed Lexi's liver. We were told Lexi would go to surgery on Thursday at 12:30pm. We would have to say good bye to her at that time.
On our last night together, after everyone went home, I began counting down the hours that I had left with her. We had finished bathing her and she had a fresh beautiful braid in her hair. The nurse that braided Lexi's hair, cut off a piece of her hair, braided it, and gave it to me.
It was 3 am, when we finished and Lexi was all tucked in. I was standing beside her holding her hand and staring at her. The donor nurse entered the room, looked at me for a few seconds then said, "Would you like to get into bed with your daughter"? She said I could cuddle with her. It was as if I was just told I had won a billion dollars. Did I want to get into bed with my daughter? Yes, yes of course I did. I wanted to do that so badly. The nurses together moved Lexi over to make just enough room for me. I crawled into her bed right beside her and for the the next 6 hours I snuggled with my Lexi. I caressed her skin. I kissed her. And I cried for what would never be for her. And I began counting down the hours before I would have to say goodbye to her.
It was Thursday morning and Chris and the boys, Lexi's boyfriend, Alex, and the rest of our family began to arrive. I stayed in bed with Lexi until the nurses came in to get her ready for surgery. It was that dreaded time: 12:30pm. I got out of her bed and walked around to Lexi's right side and there I stayed until it was time for her to go. I was crying as I told her over and over "I love you" and "I am so proud of you" and the staff buzzed around us disconnecting all the tubes and wires, and reconnecting them to the portable machines. The rest of our family gathered together in Lexi's room. There were fourteen of us. And when it was time, we began to slowly walk with her as her bed was wheeled by her team of medical staff down the long hallway to the elevator. I was laying across Lexi's chest with my head burrowed into her neck and that is how I walked with her to the elevator. I was so scared to say goodbye. And I felt so distraught that I couldn't be with her when she took her last breath and when her heart beat for the last time.
Finally at the elevator, our family recited the "Prayer for Protection" for Lexi. I was still nuzzled inside her neck kissing her and telling her I loved her as I stroked her cheek when I felt a hand on my back. I knew I had to let her go. I gave my Lexi one last kiss then backed up as I watched her being pushed into the elevator. I didn't take my eyes off of her beautiful face. And as the elevator doors closed, I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces.

That evening, as promised, the donor nurse called me. It was 6:15pm. She informed me that Alexa's lungs and Alexa's liver: her "gifts", had been successfully transplanted. Alexa fulfilled her wish. She gave two very special women from New England the gift of life.

I live at the farm in Rockport. I first met Lexi maybe 10 years ago. She was at the barn and fainted and I helped her and after that had a chat every time I saw her.

I hadn’t seen her for a few years when she rode by one day on the horse she was leasing. She stopped by my house to say hello. I was stunned at how beautiful she was and told her as much. She had such a warm aura. It’s a rare creature that is beautiful inside and out.

I’m so very sorry for your loss. The world is a little bit darker for losing Lexi.

I saw Chloe’s owner today, Andrea who owns that horse Lexi leased. She said everyone at Shay’s talks about Lexi and all the funny things she would say and do. She’s only ever a memory away xxx

Kindest regards.
- Siobhan Emery
Rockport, MA.

It was a day earlier this year when I was driving Lexi to run some errands, and we saw a girl waiting by the road. The girl seemed freezing – it’s very cold outside. Lexi said to me “I hope whoever that girl is waiting comes soon. She probably doesn’t have money to take a taxi or Uber. I was in a situation like she is before, and I know how she feels.” She showed her compassionate to a stranger and everyone she crossed path with. She has pure heart. I miss her everyday every second. Nothing is the same...

- Qiuqiu

Hey I have never met you and I knew your daughter briefly we worked together in Marblehead but we became instant friends we both had yorkies and were both struggling in life even though I didn’t know it then. But she was super nice to me and although it was only 4-months or so she listened to me and gave me a ride home when needed and I still struggle but I’m so so sorry to hear about your daughter cause she was so much more in life and made a lot of people smile. And I’m sorry she is gone cause that is unfair !!! Sorry ❤❤💔😢

Boston MA

At Lexi's service I chuckled when it was mentioned Lexi "bossing her brothers around". I suddenly remembered losing a bet once and she made me her servant for a week and named me Umgard after one of your German friends. Lexi and I would still laugh about that to this day!!
I know Lexi always struggled with finding real friends she could confide in and trust. She has such a special place in my life and my heart. She is the only friend that has kept in touch with me since I was little and knows me better than any other friend after all these years. Any time we ever talked she always made sure to tell me she misses me and I will hold onto that forever.
She always made time to come visit or reach out to me and I've never had a friend like that. Just a couple weeks before she passed she sent me a message. She was so loving to her friends and family and the most beautiful girl I have literally EVER met.
Brittany Shepard
Keene, New Hampshire

Love you Lexi ... Until we meet again! May God bless your
beautiful soul.
Love you forever
Rachelle Jean
Belmont, Massachusetts

Sue and Chris and the boys, we are so so sorry for your loss and
may you guys find the strength to get through this sad time
together. She is a beautiful angel and will always be with you now
and forever. Rest easy Alexa . Love the Stewart Family Dresden, Maine

My prayers and heartfelt condolences to the family. May you seek
and find God's grace and comfort during this difficult time.
Lajuan Sparrowhawk,
Tampa, Florida

My heartfelt sympathy is with you. Losing someone especially one
so young is hard. May the God of all comfort, comfort and sustain
you during this difficult time.
Jackie M

I had several classes with Lexi at North Shore CC and I'm just
horrified to learn of her death. When I first saw her, I was blown
away by her stunning beauty. Yet for being so gorgeous she was so down to earth, friendly and just real. I had no idea of her
struggle and am just in tears at this news. My deepest
condolences to her family - I can't even imagine what you've gone through.
Kris M
Woburn, Massachusetts

Lexi was loved by us all and she will be greatly missed. Please
find comfort in knowing God has has taken her to a beautiful
place. Rest easy Alexa. Our love to you all.
Gail Andretta,
Wiscasset, Maine

Rest In Peace Sexy Lexi you are gorgeous. there is more to this
life than this. I pray for your family. Until we meet again. Nothing
but Love
Giana

Lexi is our inspiration for making a real change. You're her voice. My dear friend, you are going to be ok. You will. I miss you and I love you. It is so hard to imagine how really strong she was. She always looked so beautiful and so healthy. That's what is so crazy. My heart is breaking for you. I didn't realize the agony she went through every day. I will share her story with everyone I know. And when I meet people, I will tell them Lexi's story.
Cathie Castello
Stuttgart, Germany

I went through all my pictures just looking over and over at Lexi's sweet face. How does this happen? Nothing has hit me so hard like Lexi. I just can't believe it. I told my boys about our Lexi and they were so sad and sick about it.
Sara McDermott
Jeannette, Pennsylvania

Lexi,
We loved you even before you were born. My sister, Karen and I had a baby shower for your Mom. We were so excited for her to be expecting her first baby!
You came to Harpswell with your Mom for the annual cemetary planting, and you were so nice to put up with us "old folks".
Leanne and Gary Spencer
Buxton, Maine

Sometimes I just don't know what to say. I'm still sad and stunned for you and for Alexa and everyone who knew and loved her. She was a star. She was such a fun girl and an amazing beauty, like Alex. He said that she "got him". I don't know anything better than to be understood by someone you love.
Caroline Farrell Lally
Tampa, Florida

Lexi,
I remember the first time we met at our UMass, Lowell student orientation. We were randomly assigned to room together one night and we stayed up all night talking. We decided to tell our actual assigned roommates we knew each other from the past and if they would let us switch so we could room together. From that time we spend day after day together in room "420" experiencing our first year away at school. I would not change anything from our hours of watching Wife Swap, talking in Italian accents, and being two broke college girls together. Your laughter, playfulness, and creativity blew me away. I'll miss our times together and will always have a place for you in my heart. I love you!
-Mama Bird, aka Shrrem, Em, Emily

We had so much fun together, and were the best of friends during such formative years of our lives. I wouldn't change it for the world. I miss her so much, so vivacious and full of love and spirit, always in my thoughts.
-Emlay Rose
Boston, Massachusetts

Susan and Chris, I am so sad to learn of the passing of your daughter. It's been years since I've seen you, but I remember you all fondly, and remember what a sweet girl she was. I admire your
courage in telling her story. All my best to you --
Susan Hansen
Connecticut

I do not know you but know a friend of your Mom's. Blessings and
love to your family.
Denise Calkins,
South Portland, Maine

I will never forget the day your amazing mom told me she was
having a baby! She was so happy! We were roommates in college. I have many wonderful memories of you when you were young. Although I didn't see you much as a young adult, I have always held you very dear because I love your
mom so very much. May you now be at peace sweet Lexi. Thank you for all you have given us.
XO!
Jen Manzi MacLeod,
Scarborough, Maine

There are no words to tell you how sad we are to hear of your loss. Please know that we are thinking of your family with so much love and light.
Todd and Stacey Souza
Wiscasset, Maine

Lexi,
You've brought so much joy to us when we were newcomers to Maine. You made our transition seamless with your friendship and personality. You will be dearly missed, but never forgotten.
Love,
The Digeronimo's
Keene, New Hampshire

Alex and Lexi stayed with us, she was delightful, we talked about
the books we read, a beautiful person inside and out. We grieve
with our grandson Alex, who will miss her forever. She will live in
his caring heart. Love to you and your family,
Mema and Beepa
better known as
Barbara and John Farrell, Alex's grandparents

I met Alexa in second grade. She seemed like she adjusted well
to our school and I found an instant friend in her. We would sitnext to each other every day in Math. She creatively would use tissue boxes as homes for her Beanie Babies that sat on her desk. She would make pencil grips with tissues and tape as well. Both of which I would copy and she never minded.
I had taken tap dancing classes the year before and was planning on taking dance again. Alexa encouraged me to take Jazz with her; to which I did. My friendship with her was all good memories and I valued my time with her.
Alisha Miete,
Alna, Maine

I haven't seen Lexi in a long time but I remember te first time I saw her when she came to our house for a sleepover. I thought, "what a beautiful girl" and "she should be a model". She just lit up the room. I've cried mourning her death so many times I can't even explain it and for so many reasons partly because she was Jill's friend partly because she was your daughter and partly just because such a shame it is she was such a beautiful girl with so much ahead of her.
Karen Dalton
Wiscasset, Maine

Our Lexi Memories

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